When I look back on the words of the past number of years, I see a person on a journey. But isn’t that the way it is – we all are on a journey. What we do on that journey, and what we believe, makes a difference to what we experience. Action + Belief = Experience.

Over the years, I’ve had words like foundation, focus, impact, surrender, faith, and courage. At the beginning of each year I have no idea what significant learning will come from each word. But by the end of the year it is quite evident. And “the word” with its lessons and experiences, builds on the others.

In 2011, my word was “Believe.” At the beginning of the year it didn’t make sense why that word was so important. But as the year wore on “Believe” came up against challenge after challenge and I found myself asking, “Okay God, what do you want me to believe you for in this?”

For 2012, my word is “Discovery.” I can’t imagine what God will teach me through this one but my eyes are wide open with anticipation and I look forward to sharing some of my discoveries with you in future issues of Fingerprint.

Sounds simple; but I’ve learned that despite my good intentions, my first thought is not always to think about what God wants me to learn in the middle of a difficult situation.

My granddaughter’s reply was “Wow. That’s really good advice! Thank you so much Grandma!” But with her response, I was reminded that now would also be a good time for me to take my own advice. And the word “Believe” came to mind.

Each January, I identify a “word for the year” – a sort of annual theme for myself. I type the word at the top of my annual planning document and create a screen saver to keep the word top of mind. It’s surprising how relevant that word becomes as the year unfolds. And 2011 is certainly no exception.

This year my word is “Believe” and when I look at the events of the past months I realize that being able to “believe” is vital. For me, it means believing:

  - That needs will be met

  - That God’s timing is perfect – even with the loss of Donna’s husband Max

– That there’s a reason for the rash of health issues that my otherwise healthy husband has experienced this year

– That Grandma’s Fingerprint will successfully launch and reach beyond my expectations

– That Donna’s fall two weeks ago will be used for good (she broke her ankle and shoulder which required surgery and now demands an extended season to heal)

– That my children and grandchildren will grow in the midst of life’s challenges

– That Donna and I can trust God with our ministry as we adjust to ongoing changes and new realities

Do you identify with one or more of these life situations? Or are there other issues that you face? What do you believe in the middle of them? As for me, I believe that God is ultimately in control and, yes, He does have something to teach me. I just need to be willing to listen.

In the May issue of Fingerprint, we talked about the situational issues that can create barriers to a healthy relationship. In this issue, we’ll look at relational issues. While the former involves our environment or circumstances, the latter has to do with the relationship of people and their interaction with each other. However, whether situational or relational, it’s what we do with each issue that determines whether the affect will be positive or negative.

Here are three brief examples of relational issues. If inappropriately dealt with, any one of them can hinder the health of your mentoring relationships.

1. Dependence – Allowing dependency to form in your mentoring relationship contradicts the purpose of godly mentoring which is to enfold and engage one another in healthy relationships that empower and encourage personal growth and a vibrant relationship with God.
2. Assumptions – When a mentor isn’t as sensitive to a given situation as their mentee thinks they should be, or a mentee becomes hurt or disillusioned when their mentor isn’t available, it’s often because assumptions have been made. Eliminate assumptions and turn the situation into a learning tool that deepens the mentoring relationship rather than drive a wedge into it.
3. Money Matters – Scenarios like co-signing for a mentee, entering into a business venture, or extending a loan to them, are situations where “Beware” signs need to be posted. They can create indebtedness and change the dynamics of a relationship. Instead, use these requests to help your mentee learn to manage finances or refer him or her to someone who can help.

This is a very brief look at the barriers that can damage an otherwise healthy mentoring relationship. While our book, A Mentor’s Fingerprint, covers this subject in more detail, we hope we have given you a glimpse of what to watch for in any formal or informal mentoring relationship.

Over the past two months, the two of us have experienced major events that affect both our personal lives and our ministry life. Our present reality is now one of adjusting to new realities and, as friends and supporters of Fingerprint Ministries, we believe you would want to know a little about it. Therefore, this issue of Fingerprint is of a more personal nature, with a glimpse into our past two month journey and a small look at the future.

As we unfold bits of that journey, we recognize that you too may be facing challenges and changes.

June 3
After going to hospital emergency on May 31 and being sent home the next day, Ann’s husband, Jim, was admitted to the hospital on June 3 with a serious pulmonary embolism (blood clots in both lungs). This was his second bout in less than six months. After one week in the hospital, and numerous tests, he was discharged with medication and told not to do anything.

After a month off work, he is now back on the job but tires more easily than in the past. Doctors are still not sure of the cause of the clots but have ruled out various cancers. While he waits to see a blood specialist, Jim continues his medication and weekly tests as they try to regulate his blood levels. He is currently holding his own, and we all are resting in the knowledge that God is in control.

June 18
Early in the year, Ann and her husband began planning a celebration for their 40th wedding anniversary. It was to be a major event – the first real anniversary party they had ever planned. The date was set, family and friends rallied to help with all the details, and invitations were mailed. Then Jim landed up in the hospital and people began to ask if the celebration would still go ahead.

One week before the big event, the doctor released Jim from the hospital and said it was okay for him to go to the party as long as he didn’t do anything. It was a wonderful time with family and friends from different stages and arenas of their life together. Jim and Ann acknowledge that after forty years of mountains and valleys, their marriage is a miracle and they are grateful to God for His steadfast faithfulness.

July 9
On Thursday, July 7 at 3:00 AM, Donna’s husband, Max, was taken to the hospital by ambulance. After working feverishly on him for about four hours, doctors told us that there was nothing more they could do, except to keep him as comfortable as possible. He had suffered another heart attack which was the final blow to a heart that had already been weakened and suffered so much.

For the next two days we kept a round-the-clock vigil that ended on Saturday, July 9 at 8:30 PM when Max passed from this life into the presence of God whom he served so faithfully over the years. For many of us, we miss our dear friend, Max. For Donna and her family, this past month has been the beginning of adjusting to life without husband, father, and grandfather and, in Donna’s words, “resting in God’s faithfulness.”

Today is August 9
In Max’s final hours, he looked straight at the two of us, took our hands in his, and commissioned us to get on the road and keep going with the ministry he believed God had called us to. Now, with both of our families’ support and affirmation, we are working to get our feet back under us. Look at the side column to the left of this e-zine to read about two trips we’re currently preparing to take. We’d love to see as many of you as we can on those trips.

As the past two months unfolded, our publisher kept pace with us and did all they could to help keep Ann’s next book, Grandma’s Fingerprint, on track for release early this fall. As it stands now, we hope to hold the finished product in our hands in October. We’ll keep you posted about the official book launch to be held later in the fall.

We continue to adjust to our new realities, and are so blessed. A big thank you to many of you have called us or sent cards and emails to let us know that you’re standing with us and praying for us – especially for Donna during this time of transition.

While we’re still on our journey that began two months ago, we realize that you too may be in the middle of significant life situations. You may be celebrating a milestone or a life-long accomplishment that puts you in a positive, stretching mode. Or you may be experiencing uncertainty in the face of health issues or adjusting to a great loss in your life. Either way, remember that regaining your equilibrium and getting your feet back on the ground is a process and one that you don’t have to take alone.

Please allow us to encourage you with some words that have encouraged us – “The eternal God is a dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” (Deuteronomy 33:27). Also, we can “trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock.” (Isaiah 26:4)

Thank you for being a special part of our lives and ministry. God bless you.

Ann & Donna

Think about it. What creates a wall in your own personal relationships – whether with your spouse or child/grandchild, or a friend?

In this, and the next issue of Fingerprint, we’ll look at some barriers to healthy relationships and what we can do about them. Needless to say, there’s a lot more that can be said than what there is room for here. But let’s take a stab at it.

To simplify our discussion, we’ll identify barriers as either Situational or Relational and address the Situational category first.

Situational Issues involve the environment or circumstances surrounding a specific concern. For example, flexibility, freedom, and change would apply here. Let me use change to explain.

From time to time we all face circumstances that require change. The challenge is that some of us approach change with excitement while others struggle and may even be afraid of it. Here are two steps we can take to deal with change and keep it from developing a barrier in our relationships.

1. Anticipate and adapt

Planning well means that we anticipate the possibility of change. And being open and adaptable to change requires that we have a go-with-the-flow attitude. This double-sided approach to a circumstance like change contributes to our growth and the growth of the other person in our relationship. However, no matter how well we plan, the unexpected can happen. In that case, it’s up to us to choose. Do we see it as an interruption, an inconvenience, an opportunity, or an adventure? If we don’t anticipate how we’ll deal with a change in circumstances or adapt to changes when they come, barriers will develop in our relationships.

2. Be open

When we walk through change with someone else, it’s important to understand the difference of perspective that they may have about change. I have a good friend who cringes at the suggestion of change. Knowing this fact enables me to introduce change gradually and in bite size pieces that she can handle. As a result I’ve seen tremendous growth in her perspective on change. Does that mean she will always get excited about change like I do? Not likely. But then – she has been known to surprise me. Never underestimate the value of understanding someone else’s perspective and the value of taking baby steps – even if you are a giant step taker.

Are you more likely to anticipate or adapt to circumstances in your life? How could you learn to do both? Who in your life needs you to be open to where they’re at with change?

Hope you’ll share your thoughts in the section below.

Next month we’ll look at Relational Issues that create barriers in relationships.

Remember when someone cheered you on? How did their words or actions affect you?

Now translate that to your grandchildren, or children who don’t have a grandparent or one living nearby. What difference would it make in their lives if they knew you were in their corner, cheering them on?

You may have limited resources for gifts or the ability to travel to your grandchildren. Or you may have health challenges that keep you from being active with them. Or you may have difficulty expressing yourself. But you can still be their champion.

Whether you live in the same house, or across the country, or around the world from a child in your life, there are many ways you can instill confidence in them. How about a handwritten note or card. Or a timely phone call or text message. Or an encouraging email or Facebook message. Or simply a look that says, “I love you.” The possibilities are many.

What action or step can you take this week to encourage a child – whether they are related to you or not?

Chime in below about how you champion the children in your life.

I remember throwing up my arms and saying, “Maybe if we don’t have expectations we won’t be disappointed.”

The reality is that if we don’t have expectations, we won’t go anywhere. We’ll be stuck just where we are and we won’t see others move forward either. What about our expectations? Are they healthy? Are they limiting? Are they inspiring?

What expectations do you have — of yourself — or of others? What expectations have others put on you? What expectations does God have of you? What expectations have you overcome in your life? What expectations do you want to overcome?

Click here for our special invitation to you. It’s an event where you will get in on the inside scoop with four exceptional women who defied expectations to achieve extraordinary accomplishments.

Off and on, I ask myself whether or not the “doing” and “being” sides of my life are balanced. On the one hand, I like to be involved in planning, strategizing and juggling different activities. I also enjoy helping others think through where they’re going and help them work out how to accomplish their vision and goals and manage their time. But sometimes I think I get so wrapped up in the “doing” — where I want to go, what I want to accomplish, and how I’ll do it — that the “being” side of me suffers.

If we’re honest, most of us would say that it’s easier to get up and do, than to sit and be still. For some reason, we think we need to be busy, or appear to be busy. We think we need to rush around and take advantage of that window of uninterrupted time to get as much done as possible. And we miss out on simply enjoying a cup of tea in the peace and quiet of the moment.

It’s easy to get caught up in the trap of taking on a job or position before considering whether or not it fits our gifts and abilities. We say “yes” to something because we feel obligated and end up regretting it. We get involved in activities that don’t fit who we are and what we can contribute with the gifts and abilities God gave us. And we take things on that put us into conflict with ourselves.

Before you fill your schedule with more activity, think about who God created you to “be” and what He created you to “do.” If you’re overwhelmed with what’s on your plate or you’re in the process of deciding whether to take on a new position or project, here are four questions to consider.

1. What are your God-given gifts and abilities?
2. What activities are you currently involved in?
3. Which of your involvements do not utilize your gifts and abilities?
4. Which involvements make you want to get out of bed in the morning?

The answers to these questions will help you evaluate where to put your time so that you can maintain a good balance of “doing” and “being.”

http://fingerprintministries.com/media/pdf/AnnualPlanningTool.pdf

Each breath was a gift as Donna’s husband lay in the Cardiac Care Unit of the hospital, connected by tubes and wires to machines that beeped and churned. It had been less that 24 hours since the ambulance rushed Max to the ER while Donna and I raced home from Seattle.

As we stood with their family around Max’s hospital bed, the heart specialist and two nurses entered the darkened room and described the severity of Max’s massive heart attack. After a short pause, the doctor then told us that, given his condition, there was nothing more they could do. It was shattering news, yet there was peace and calm in the room as Max gave his response to the resuscitation question and the family affirmed his wishes.

“Doctor, what exactly are you saying?” asked Donna, when she followed him into the hallway, needing to confirm what she thought she’d heard the first time.

“I am so sorry,” he said as he placed his hand on her shoulder. “But there is nothing we can do. It’s only time.”

Reaching her hand to his arm, Donna then assured him. “No, Doctor. Don’t be sorry. You see, we’re Christians. Since Max’s by-passes thirty years ago, we’ve never known how long we might have here together. But we do know where Max is going.”

The doctor gently smiled and replied, “Oh, I see. You’re believers.”

While I was taken by the doctor’s gentle and compassionate manner, it was what I witnessed over the next few days that really impacted me.

Following the doctor’s pronouncement, calls were made to family and friends who arrived to give comfort and support. But it was difficult to limit friend’s visits to only five minutes at a time. People came to be an encouragement and left being encouraged by a man who, forever the mentoring pastor, was more concerned about them than what was happening to him. Oxygen masks, IV drips, monitoring machines, and a weak voice didn’t take away from Max’s natural inclination to minister to each person who entered his room. Even in the midst of his “valley of the shadow” as described in Psalm 23, he gave visitors hope and assurance.

At Max’s request, the church elders also came. But, instead of being the givers, they also became the receivers as they stood in a circle around the bed. One by one, Max affirmed each of them in their leadership role and charged the whole group with challenging words of wisdom. Though they had come to minister to their fellow Elder, they too came away inspired and encouraged.

That was two weeks ago. Today, Max is home, though quite limited with only 25% of his heart functioning. But, as his eldest son says, “God has given him some more time on this earth to minister to others. Because that is what my dad does, he touches other people on this earth all the time.”

For now, Donna says, “We’re taking it one day at a time.”

How about you? Are you walking through a shadow time in your life or know someone who is? Rest assured, there is no need to be fearful in the valley of the shadow. Hope is alive. Read Psalm 23.